Gently Stitched Together

Bright, dark, pastel, neutral—most quilts have an array of colors, yet as I set my eyes on the ensemble at hand, rarely do I stop… to think about the hours, the days, consumed by this beautifully detailed product. How each square was first designed then stitched together to another square with a different design. Two squares fitting together perfectly in size and design. We as humans can create these masterpiece quilts. We spend countless hours designing them and choosing the perfect colors, fabric, and thread. Yet, our attempts to create this perfect piece seem futile as we think about the masterpiece that God has designed and is still designing in us. How He is slowly stitching us together...square by square. Jeremiah says that God knew us before we were born, before we were formed in our mother’s womb. His knowledge is incomprehensible and His design for our life is unimaginable. Lately, I have wondered why so many dark threads have been allowed on my life’s quilt. Why each new square seems darker than the last. As I prayed and pleaded about it and waited for a word from the Lord, He gave me this. “Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” ~Matthew 7:9-11

I am confident that these dark threads on my quilt are not bad, but they are teaching me, forming me, feeding me, showing me how to trust in the Lord and to not lean on my own understanding. He causes all things to happen for good, for His good. Knowing that my heart can rest in Him allows me to keep persevering through the dark times. These dark squares are essential to create the perfectly designed quilt, and one day when I meet Jesus I know I will be able to see the masterpiece He designed just for me.

As will you!

“For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well.”

~Psalm 139:13

Here are some random pics that make my heart happy :-)

                                                               God painting the sky

                                                                 His light shines bright!

 

Losi is helping with dishes

                                                                  I made him :-) lol

                                                                Visiting Mom's grave site

                                                                    Fun Trip in Bend

Is God still bigger than cancer when the disease has seemingly won?

“To grunt and sweat under a weary life, but that the dread of something after death, the undiscover’d country from whose bourn no traveler returns, puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly to others that we know not of.” – Shakespeare

The thought of the one who travels the undiscover’d country that Shakespeare speaks of makes one unsettled and unable to answer, with confidence, the question asked. However, as I watched my sweet mother lose her battle to cancer last night one thing has become clear to me. That, even though it may seem like cancer has claimed its victory on my mother’s body, death turns out to be a mere emissary of Christ. As believers in Christ Jesus we have the guidance of one who has traveled the undiscover’d country and RETURNED—conquering death. What joy and peace we may possess knowing when that day comes we will be met by the One who is versed on that well-trodden road.

1Corithinas 15:54-57 says, “But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immorality, then will come about the saying that is written, ‘Death is swallowed up in victory, O Death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the poser of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Even though peace and joy fill my soul, I know that sorrow will be my friend for a while as I will mourn her warm embrace, radiant smile, kisses, curly strawberry blonde hair,  joyful laughter, and words of wisdom: love, comfort, and encouragement. She will always be my best friend and I will always strive to be what she prayed I’d be. I will love you forever sweet mother and miss you, every single day.

For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but the things that are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

-2 Corinthians 4:17-18 

Update

Here are some updated pics of my sweet mother!! Her hair is growing back!! Her doctors are keeping a close eye on her because some cells may have been left behind during surgery. She has her next appointment on August 20th and we are praying for good results!! Love to all who have prayed for her and thank you so much!

Comfort in suffering

The picture above was take at St. Charles Cancer Center. My mom and I were watching Jack and Jill, funny movie! We are praying that this is her last chemo treatment! The Doctors are pretty certain, but we will know FOR SURE May 7th (Danny and I's 2yr anniversary :-) ) Surgery to remove her stomach should be set on that date too!

Comfort in Suffering

Last night Danny and I went to a bible study that we have been meaning to go to for a while, but our schedules just wouldn’t allow. Finally last night it worked out so we could go and I feel like it was a total God thing.The study was on 1 Peter 4, which is mostly about suffering.  

vs15- “Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler; but if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is NOT TO BE ASHAMED, but is to GLORIFY GOD in this name.”

I remember when my mom was first diagnosed with Cancer, I was ashamed to admit I was suffering. I didn’t want people to think I was weak because by being weak, I felt like it would reflect negatively on Christ. I love how this verse totally crushed my theory! I should have never felt ashamed, but Glorified God in all of my sufferings, knowing that I am suffering in accordance to God’s will for my life and that I needed to TRUST that what He is doing is right.

vs19- “Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall ENTRUST their souls to a FAITHFUL Creator in doing what is right.

When I awoke this morning I could not shake this sadness in my heart. I tried listening to some worship songs, clean the house to occupy my mind, but nothing would suppress the feeling. My mind just wouldn’t stop and it almost seemed as though, subconsciously, I wanted to be sad. Not only was my mom heavily on my heart, but all my past regrets and failures. I knew I had to immediately stop what I was doing and dive into God’s word. I quickly made myself some food (to keep my mind from wondering so much) and sat down to open God’s word.

I feel like I need to put a disclaimer here before I go on because I have done this many times in a desperate attempt to hear from God, but this is one of the few times He actually gave me specific scripture to read. I think it is so beautiful that God picks specific times in our life when He speaks so LOUDLY to us that we HAVE to listen! This morning was one of those times..

Before I opened the Bible I prayed for God to give me something relevant to read, relevant to my situation and how I was feeling.

I opened up to 2Corinthians, which starts out with a greeting from Paul and then goes into comfort in suffering and being delivered from suffering… Coincident? I think not!

Vs4- “(God) who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  5  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.

After reading these verses I began to feel very foolish for my morning wallowing. God promises that even though I may be suffering now, He is going to bring good from this! “…so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God”

Comfort from God is not an end in itself. Its purpose is that believers also might be comforters. Having humiliated and convicted the Corinthians, God uses Paul to return to them with a strengthening message after he himself had received divine strengthening.  –John MacArthur

All of us can have “divine strengthening” from the Lord. We just have to run TO Him instead of FROM Him. It’s so easy to blame Him for everything and be mad at God (I was for a while too) but it is SO MUCH EASIER to allow HIM to carry your burdens and receive the comfort and strength He WANTS to give to you.

I don’t remember who it was at the study last night who said this, but someone said something like, “it’s almost a blessing to be enduring trials.” I believe this is so true. God is shaping us to be more like Him and if we never suffer how can we relate to Him? I mean He paid the ultimate sacrifice...he suffered and died a horrific death, all so we could be saved!

As I pray daily that God will TAKE AWAY this cancer from my mom and that her surgery will make her CANCER FREE, I also pray that He gives me the strength to seek Him during this trial, so that I can receive His comfort and also give comfort to others during their time of suffering as well.

My mom modeling her new hair cut..looking mighty adorable, I must say!!