Another negative test..

This morning when I received another negative test result my flesh instantly wanted to let the anger rise inside my soul, feed the fear of time running out for me and our parents and their chance to be able to spend time with their grandchildren, and just break down and cry. However, the spirit had a different plan. 

After cooking Danny’s breakfast and seeing him off to work I decided to snuggle up in my blankets and read God’s word. Though I am still getting through Jeremiah, I decided to read Hebrews. As I began to read Chapter 12 my heart started to melt as I was reminded of the horrible death Jesus endured for me (and you too), His everlasting and sacrificial love, and His dedication to continually work on my heart. I then realized that this time of waiting is also a time of discipline.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surround us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons, ‘my son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives.’ It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and no sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

-Hebrews 12:1-11

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…But He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His Holiness…All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

This is so beautiful to me. God knows we desire to raise His baby and He has the perfect baby for us. Knowing He is disciplining us in order to prepare us is so peaceful.  I now know I must take joy in His discipline and be thankful because without it I would not have the assurance of His love. Furthermore, I wouldn’t be the mom He needs me to be to the perfect t baby He is holding in His hands for us.

I love you Jesus, always!!